Its always an option of choices once you open the door. You can walk in, you can close it, or you can just leave it open. At some point if she said that she loved me, I couldn’t say it back, cause that would mean that I got attached. I’d smile but I’d never speak to her again…If a she told me that she missed me, I’d ignore it and tell her have a good day even though I missed her too. I couldn’t bare to miss anyone again. Even if she spilled all her feelings to me in hopes that I would feel the same way, I’d just stare without an answer. I couldn’t answer anything with the truth. I always found a way to open the door and walk in but keep my foot in the door so I wouldn’t get stuck. If it didn’t work out I would just step out and close it. My failsafe to my life. I know that if she left Id worry about her but at least I wouldn’t be a burden on her mind. I just don’t ever want to feel that pain of falling in love again.
What is it when your not in control? Is it being human? Is it being reckless? Or is that just how life is? The lesson is this; You can always answer someone without a lie and never tell the truth, but the truth will still be there lingering in your heart. So don’t be afraid to close the door behind you. It isn’t a perfect world but you’ll know when you’ve opened the right door.
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